


Ramblings by Midnight to a Careless Asshole

by DisappointingGay



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Canon Compliant, Connor still dies tho, I was feeling feelings so I wrote this, Kinda?, Letter thing didn't happen, Sad, bittersweet I guess?, zoe yells at Connor's grave in the middle of the night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 07:39:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12502260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisappointingGay/pseuds/DisappointingGay
Summary: Zoe hated her brother. Hated. But it's hard to hate a dead man.





	Ramblings by Midnight to a Careless Asshole

"You asshole. You fucking, selfish, heartless asshole!" Zoe threw the bottle at the freshly minted headstone. The plastic bottle bounced harmlessly, ricocheting into some nearby rose bouquet. "You fucking left us! You leave us without fucking anything!" A deep breath. "Do you have any idea what that did to us?" A shakey breath. But not a sob. No. Zoe would not cry for Connor. He didn't deserve her tears, or her pity, or anything that could be qualified as mourning. She would not mourn him. No one mourns the wicked. 

"Dad is distant. I mean, more so than he was before. He doesn't care about anything. He's so buried in work, I haven't seen him in two weeks. Not that that's a bad thing, ya know?" She chuckled a bit, slid down with her back against the tombstone. She didn't think about how she was sitting over her brother's dead body. "We both know how the bastard was." 

"Mom, Mom's just so sad. She can't even go an hour without breaking down." Zoe took a deep, steady breath. "And me?" 

"Do you even fucking care? I don't think you would. I don't see why you would, now. You never gave a shit when you were alive."

"Heh. When you were alive. I keep having to remind myself you're dead, ya know? You're..." She took a breath. "You're dead. And I'm in a graveyard, at," she checked her phone, "2:37 in the morning. Heh. I must be fucking crazy."

One again, she chuckled, and pulled out two travel-sized bottles of gin she'd lifted from the beverage cart of an airplane. She clinked the bottles together, and took a quick sip from the bottle, scowling slightly at the taste. "But I guess that's you, right?" Another swig, slightly larger this time. "No offense. I mean, I know shit was fucked up up in there."

She swirled the bottle around a bit, before turning it bottoms up and gulping down the remaining alcohol. 

"D'ya remember what you said when we were little? I was nine, and you said when I was a big girl, you'd buy me my first drink. I guess I bought it, but..." This time, when she took a breath, she didn't bother to try and hide the tears that fell. "You were supposed to be there, Con. You were supposed to be my older brother."

"Fucking Hell, you were an asshole. A selfish, careless, bastard asshole. But..."

"I loved you, Con. Even if you never loved me back. You were my brother, and I love you." She placed the unopened bottle on top of his gravestone, and said goodbye to her brother. 

She thought she heard "Love you too" whispered against the winds, but then again, here she was, rambling by moonlight to a careless asshole. She must be crazy.

**Author's Note:**

> So i hope you liked it. This is called "stalling for a math test". Fuck honors math classes.
> 
> It's short but i like it. I'ma post a thing abt vampires thats gonna be long and legit, but the aforementioned math test is 25% of my final grade, and the grading period is ending Friday, so.


End file.
